Barbara Child put her heart and soul into a letter to her partner, Alan Morris, while he was at the cottage they shared in Florida and she was away at school in California. He was a Vietnam War veteran, and she was taking a seminary course on war—in particular, the Vietnam War. She turned in her letter as a term paper for the course, calling it “An Open Letter to a Vietnam Veteran.” A little more than two years later, the war finally took its toll on Alan. He put a Colt .45 to his head and pulled the trigger. Barbara read part of her letter as the eulogy at his memorial service.
That letter led to one thing, then another. Eventually, Barbara began analysis with a Jungian psychologist and shared the letter with him. She began talking more and more about Alan. She began writing more and more about Alan. From those writings came this book.
The book gives a partner’s-eye view of post-traumatic stress and moral injury relentlessly taking their toll on the body, mind, and soul of a veteran who served as a medic in the Vietnam War. The book also shows how Jungian dream work with an expert, caring analyst can bring forth memories and the meaning of memories both sought and unsought. Ultimately, this book is both a labor of love and an impassioned outcry on behalf of all victims of war, whatever their part in the suffering.
Table of Contents
Preface 7
Author’s Note 9
Prologue – Agents Provocateurs 13
PART ONE
A Lifetime Is Too Narrow to Understand It All 21
Chapter 1 – Living in Florida 23
Chapter 2 – An Open Letter to a Vietnam Veteran 51
Chapter 3 – Dying in Florida 79
Chapter 4 – Mementos, Memorials, and a Ritual of Grieving 99
PART TWO
I Will Wait for You 109
Chapter 5 – Alan Will Be Coming Soon 111
Chapter 6 – Digging Deeper 123
Chapter 7 – Bringing Forth 133
Epilogue – The Sword and the Snake 151
Afterword – In Country 157
Acknowledgements 169
For Further Reading 171
War – Accounts from War Correspondents and Veterans 171
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Moral Injury 176
Edward Tick’s Journeys of Healing and Reconciliation 179
The Anti-War Movement and the Killings at Kent State 184
Jungian Psychology, Analysis, and Dream Work 192
Poetry and the Search for Meaning 193
Sources Cited in the Text 194
About the Author 197