Across and Into and Through the Divided Self

“…when we begin to live from within outward, in touch with the power of the erotic within ourselves and allowing that power to inform and illuminate our actions upon the world around us, then we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense.”

—Audre Lorde, When I Dare to be Powerful

To Audre Lorde the “erotic” within—that personal well-spring—has often been suppressed by those in authority. Some of us are “othered,” BIPOC, LBGTQ+, told “who we are is not enough,” and therefore, find ourselves unable to draw upon “the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feelings.” Describing this life force, this passion, C.G. Jung utilized the word, libido—chi, qi, prana, or manna—which included sexual desires as well as the instinctual trajectories of creative, intellectual and spiritual growth. How does one tap into this inner strength, discover a passionate lifework?

From the beginning, out of a deep need to draw upon this source, Lewis wrote short stories at seven, journaling at thirteen 28,000 pages until now, published a young adult book, the dissertation at Pacifica Graduate Institute, and finally, a memoir.

Traveling to Africa, she discovered that the symbolism of the Kalahari San Bush-men-and-women’s Promethean myth, “Why Ostriches Don’t Fly” embodied her own, igniting the need to shake herself free. Causing her to ask the following questions: How can I write my way into and through it? In the womb of PGI she found the words to express the impact of her childhood wound, the San peoples’ tales and the initiation with the Maasai Warriors of Kenya.

In this talk, Dr. I. Murphy Lewis will conjecture that the “act” of writing, as well as the use of imagery in dreams and tales from elsewhere, can help access this “erotic” power, breaking through the cultural blocks, divisions, the fractures of trauma, cracking the code to the myths we feel trapped in, into agency.

We will explore “the othering,” the critical voice that exists within and outside ourselves and often comes to us from our associations with familial, educational, social and political structures infiltrating the quotidian. How do we face this critic? Become aware of its power over us? Where can we create safe places for accessing the “erotic” within? To individuate into our true and authentic selves—in spite of all that is happening around us?